This week’s parsha, Vayigash, discusses the meeting of Joseph and his brothers after twenty-two years away from home and family. The question is: after all his brothers did to him years before, why did Joseph only say five Hebrew words to them, “I am Joseph. Is my father still alive?” Shouldn’t he have scolded and rebuked his brothers for throwing him in a pit and selling him to Egypt where he soon got thrown in jail for wrongly being accused of adultery? A lot of bad things happened to him as a result of their throwing him in the pit.
One commentary notes that the reason for his few words is that when a person does not say anything, that is the best rebuke. What happens is that the rebuker gives the others a look of disapproval and all they can do is think about all of the things that are going through his head about them and what they did. So instead of Joseph having to say anything to them, it is all implied by the fact that he did not say anything at all. It is like when you get so angry with your son that you just don’t speak to him at all. This is the worst punishment for him because he knows that you are not talking to him. All he wants is, say, to get a “potch” so at least you will talk to him again because you won’t be mad anymore.
Similarly, by Joseph not saying very much to his brothers, he is reprimanding them in the best way possible for their actions. We learn from this that if there are people whom you consider your friends, but you have not spoken to them in a while, it may be a good idea to give them a call, even if it is just to say hi. Keeping yourself secluded from them may ruin whatever is left of that friendship. People get ideas in their heads that could just be fabrications of the mind, so you have to take the initiative to set things straight to keep your friends for a long, long time.