Rachel Dobkin

Rachel Dobkin – Central East NCSY

When I was in middle school, I was known as “Super Jew.” Although I went to a conservative day school for nine years, I felt out of place. I was never really accepted by my peers, and was exponentially more passionate than the rest of my small grade about learning. I was the nerd that knew how to chant four tropes, argued with teachers, and threw Yiddish vocabulary into everyday dialogue.

When I switched to public high school in ninth grade, I became very integrated within the non-Jewish community. Although I intrinsically knew it was wrong, I gave up some parts of my Judaism that were the highlights of my life. I went to Ski Nights on Shabbos, ate non-kosher chicken fingers after only eating vegetarian out of the house for five years, and felt slightly awkward for always wanting to go to Shul (Synagogue) on Saturday mornings, rather than hang out with friends.

Sophomore year, after a series of less than pleasant occurrences in my life, I felt more lost than ever. I had no idea what had happened to my Yiddishkite. Baruch Hashem, that is when a friend of mine told me to attend the next Fall Shabbaton. My mother begged me to incorporate more Jewishness into my life besides Shul; so on a spur, I decided to attend a Shabbaton with weird frum kids. As it turns out, three years later, I am proud to be one of those frum kids.

Although I have only been involved in NCSY for three short years, it has defined my life, my future, and my thought process. What started out as an inspirational social gathering evolved into a delicious addiction of divrei Torah, crazy sweaty havdallah dances, and speeches that moved me to tears. It was at NCSY that I realized I was more than a misfit in school – I could change the world. Because of the inspiration, passion, and courage that NCSY instills in each of its participants (subliminally or consciously), I have become an outgoing, confident, optimistic, and intellectually ravenous woman who is eager to lead the next generation of Jews. I went from feeling guilty about not being more observant (although I knew I was wronging myself) to wearing skirts everyday, davening Minchah in the crazy ghetto hallways of my school, being Shomer Negiah and Shomer Shabbos, and constantly learning Torah.

But even more importantly, NCSY has taught me to cope with what upsets me and scares me with poise, dignity, and great inner strength. My thoughts are translated into actions. My inner doubts are transposed to challenges: What can I do to make the world a better place today? After all, it is only the responsibility of a Jew to wonder such things.

NCSY takes the monotony out of Judaism. It transforms seemingly annoying or impossible tasks (lighting candles, saying brachot, or even going to shul once a year) and, instead, injects in them the most brilliant wonder, making all NCSYers proud disciples of this terrific religion.

Last night, NCSY helped me conquer my biggest fear in the entire world: confronting my parents about going to seminary. Although I do not have the privilege to do so, I know that because of NCSY, I have accumulated enough strength to enter my secular college next year with the knowledge that I will succeed. Not only will I succeed academically, but I intend to be the most religious student on campus. I hope to study at least once everyday, form chavrusas (learning partners), daven three times daily, and hopefully have the honor of being an NCSY advisor.

NCSY has given me the tools and experience to look at every mistake, flaw, and tragedy, and come away seeing only beauty and experiencing only gratitude. NCSY has taught me how to be the best person I can be, has helped me to aspire to be the best Jew I can be, and has transformed me from a girl to a woman. I owe everything to NCSY. Thank you so much for being in my life.

 

Did NCSY change your life? Submit your story to tova@ncsy.org