Jordyn Kaufman – Upstate NY NCSY
I was always a proud Jew, but I didn’t really know what it meant. I knew I didn’t eat on Yom Kippur, at the age of 12 I’d have a big party, there was a weird scroll we read from on holidays and that one Saturday I decided to drive to shul, but that is as far as my knowledge went.
At the beginning of my sophomore year of high school, a friend of mine approached me and asked if I would like to attend an NCSY Shabbaton with her. She said I would meet amazing people and learn a lot about Judaism. I had no clue what a Shabbaton was, but I liked meeting new people and learning, so I agreed.
The rest is history. I ended up attending that Shabbaton in Rochester, NY, and it was the most amazing experience of my life. As promised, I met amazing people and learned a lot, but the most important thing I gained from that Shabbaton was inspiration. I was inspired from that weekend in more ways than one. The advisors, the other NCSYers, the material we learned, everything on that Shabbaton felt like it was made for me.
After that, I obviously returned. Lucky for me, the Upstate NY region had a Shabbaton just a few months later, which I attended. This one was even more inspirational! I was shocked that something could touch my heart that fast. When I got home from the Shabbaton, I knew there was more I could do to bring that inspiration home with me. I stopped eating pork and shellfish, I starting becoming a regular at shul for holidays, and most importantly, I decided to tackle Shabbat. Unfortunately, I live in a household where I am the only one interested in following any of the Jewish customs so it became increasingly obvious that it was not working. I had to stop.
Jordyn (left), together with fellow national board members, at National Yarchei Kallah, a learning program during winter break for public school teens.
At that same regional, I had also decided I wanted to attend NCSY’s summer program TJJ (The Jerusalem Journey). After spending the summer on TJJ, I came home yearning to go back to Israel. I went to Israel believing that it was too difficult for me to keep kosher and observe Shabbat in my own house, but I came home with a different outlook. Thanks to my summer on TJJ, I couldn’t imagine not having these things in my life. When I got off the plane in America, I knew I couldn’t just sit and wish I was “more Jewish.” I had to change.
I went home after that summer and I decided I needed to live my life the way I wanted to. I’m not going to lie, there were times when I had doubted myself and I didn’t think I would make it. There were times I pretended something was kosher and weekends where I ignored Shabbat. I am not ashamed or regretful of those times because they just helped me realize my potential. I am better than saying, “Well, one Saturday morning TV session wouldn’t kill me…” or “Well, I will just eat this just once more…” It was after those times that I was the most disappointed with myself; not after forgetting homework, not after having a fight with a friend, but the times when I tricked myself into thinking I could skip out on Judaism. I came to understand that without that disappointment, and the times where I underestimated myself, I would have never realized how important Judaism really was to me.
I am happy with where I stand today. My biggest accomplishment right now is I just started wearing skirts to school. I keep Shabbat, maybe not up to the standards of most Orthodox Jews, but I have had to make my own standards for my situation. I don’t keep kosher up to the same standards as I would like to, but it is what I can do at the moment. Thanks to NCSY, I know that as soon as I am on my own, it will be different. I can live my life exactly how I want and I know I want kashrut and Shabbos to be a part of that life.
Throughout my journey, there have been so many people who have inspired me to become who I am. NCSYers, fellow national board members, advisors, my regional director – without these people I can’t even imagine where I would be. Next year I am going to be studying in Israel at Machon Maayan. The reason I chose Machon Maayan is because it reminds me of NCSY and what it stands for. Machon Maayan ensures that everyone is supported in their personal growth at whatever level they are on. NCSY made sure I was in the right environment to grow and with just the right amount of inspiration. They followed me in the path of personal growth that I took. I am beyond thankful to NCSY. And who knows where I will end up in my life? Jerusalem, maybe? Stay tuned to see…
