Serena van der Woodsen has a sweet conversation with Dan Humphrey in “The Kids Are Not All Right.”
Serena: I don’t mean to take you for granted. It’s just, if we’re being completely honest…
Dan: We are.
Serena: I think that maybe sometimes I test you. You know, I keep thinking that if things get too hard you’ll give up on me. But you never do.
Dan: And I never will. If you really need me, ever, I am there.
On the one hand, that’s very romantic and very sweet. Dan is the man who will always be there, no matter the ways in which Serena mistreats him or otherwise walks all over him. On the other hand, it’s not very kind to Dan. He’s the one who missed his interview waiting for Serena, who was in the undignified position of waiting for Serena to choose him or Nate, who has watched her fall for others countless times by now.
Interestingly, the concept of testing someone in order to see what their breaking point is is not new. In fact, Moses talks about it in Deuteronomy 6:16. “You shall not try to test God, as you tested Him at Massah,” Moses proclaims. He’s referring to the complaints of the Jews in the desert when they wanted water, Moses struck the rock per God’s command and water came forth from the stone. In Exodus 17:7, Scripture elaborates: “And the name of the place was called Massah and Meribah because of the striving of the children of Israel and because they tested the Lord, saying: ‘Is the Lord among us, or not?’
Why does Moses tell the Jews not to test God? Well, it’s similar to the reason Serena shouldn’t really be testing Dan. It’s simply selfish. It’s selfish of Serena to push Dan away just to see whether or not he’ll stay by her side. Similarly, it’s selfish for people to serve God only out of their own self-interest. Self-interest is a great starting place, but fair-weather friendships never last. Neither does fair-weather religion. What Moses is telling his people is that true love comes from trust and trust may mean that you don’t always get what you want right away. When Serena learns to trust Dan rather than testing him, her relationship with him will be a lot healthier. The same goes for the Jews and God.